when i heard it from her yesterday, i wanted to cry in the middle of orchard road. so many years on and it hasnt changed from day 1. i know a lot of things were my fault, but surely i am not punished in this way? possibly the cruelest way known to all girls. there isnt anything that can erase the pain of loving someone, and watching the person, love someone else. even if you hate me, this isnt the way to get back at me. it's despicable, hated and totally underhand.

and before i slept, everything came flooding back like a horrendous nightmare. i couldn't sleep. i just couldnt. i tossed and turned. turned and tossed. your indecisiveness has left you with nothing at the end of the day. each episode put on replay like a spoilt tape.

i still dont know what i want, but it surely, definitely, isnt you. this is something that will never, ever change. if you could only see where i went wrong, then maybe it's good im no longer there to bring trouble and hassle to you. it's comical to think that you cried because of an ego problem, a face issue as opposed to telling me that you love me and hope i loved you 100%. i hate having to stick by your values, your beliefs and always be under you and agree with you.

the prophecy has come true. 2 years and 4 months earlier. i foretold my own prophecy. i still have my own entry on it. not letting me know isnt the solution. it causes more problems. i trusted you because you're my best friend. and now i dont give a bloody freaking damn if i dont have a best friend anymore. that's how much i am angry with everything. you're just all talk and no action. your promises about "next time" are always empty. even your friends know it. if you think you've above me and you're too good for me, that's fine by me. i concede defeat. im a lousy gf, a lousy everything. i screw up every single thing. i make you throw face. i always overstep the line. i never take you into consideration.
I VOW NEVER TO DO THIS AGAIN.
and then you tell me i always say sorry, that i wont do it again but i always do. but you something? this time round, you'll never ever know. from day 1 you overstepped MY boundary and YOU can tell me i should accept it.


i am so upset i will buy a set of underwear that says monday-sunday and wear saturday and sunday repeatedly. and i will buy a pair of black and lime green nike dunks.


i suppose i was upset enough until i messaged my friend at 1amplus and my friend can sense it and replied cutely, "yawn. you scare me. wad happen?"

sherrrrrrrrr.... where are you????? let's go shopping quick!